Sunday, 2 September 2012

Open Diary: Questions On MInd

Picture by Flekziten MULTiMEDIA

I wonder why certain things happens, it frustrates me when I cannot do anything about such things.
I wonder why you still care, when all they do is hurt you...
I wonder what will make you let go and realise your stupidity
It saddens me that you are such a beautiful person, yet you fail to realise your values.
It hurts me when I think of all the hurt you'll avoid if you stopped being so naive. 
It surprise me the amount of pain you have voluntarily self-induced.

Where will I be in 10years time, Can I honestly point that out?
If not, does that mean I lack ambition and  I am not motivated?
What is the right thing to wish for, and who decides its right,
If I wanted a flashy car will that not be extremely selfish? 
Then again who decides? 
Is it not suppose to be my wish?

If I could, I would go back into my life and remove all the chapters I did not like,
The parts that hurts me, embarrassed me, devalued me.
Remove the people who did not contribute anything positive into my life
The judgemental ones, the people who hurt me, cursed me, behind my back.
Those who did not recognise my worth, rejected me, made me feel insecure even if it was for a moment.
The ones that made me doubt myself. 
Assumed that I would not  amount to anything. 

If everything happens for a reason then erasing my past should mean deleting who I am.
I love who I am, I may not be perfect, I have made some stupid mistakes.
Disregarded my own wisdom and knowledge. 
I may have hurt others and been hurt myself.
Been spiteful and sometimes a little cruel.
I may be selfish opinionated and almost never admit to defeat.

But I like who I am, because I am me.

I wonder if this is what I was made to be,
Or I was made to be in a constant battle with who I am, and who I am meant to be
who decides what or who it is that I was made to, or meant to be? 

It all a lot of question with no answers.
It might be that it is all about figuring out the answers to the questions surrounding your life
Or you might not bother to answer these question, but I try to... sometimes

Have a wonderful Sunday
(ignore all typo's :D)

Diary Of A Shallow Black Girl


  1. Nice and filled with message.

  2. lovely
    follow each other / let me know

  3. Amen girl! I still battle with some of these questions but i'm comfortable in my skin still

  4. I definitely still have most of these questions in my head although i am very comfortable in my skin and i don't allow anyone/anything to dictate what my life should be

  5. Sometimes i also wish life has a rewind button so i can go back in time and remove somethings,people especially but i've realized all those experiences,although bad and hurtful are good coz they all played a role in making me who i am today.. :D i use to wonder too but decided not to anymore. Que Sera Sera.


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