Sunday, 3 July 2011


What is love?
This was asked in Church the other day, many had answers, but that was not what the elder was looking for. He wanted to know the true meaning of love. I said love was fair and love was just. He told me that to some extend I was right but I need to explain.
Love to me is fair and just, fair because where love exist there should be no cheating, no selfishness. Everything should be divided accordingly, shared equally.
Love is Just because, where justice resides there is fairness. What you want to be done for you, you do the same for love. And what you would hate to be done to you, you refrain from doing that to love. 

What then Is Love?
My favourite definition of what love is, is by an author name Louis de Bernière 
"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." 

This is Romantic Love, I am talking about love in general, more specifically between friends. 
If you love a friend, you help them, you lend a hand when they are in need. A shoulder to cry on when they are sad. You encourage them when the loose confident, and most importantly, like the 32C cups I wear, you always support them when they need you to. Being a friend is honesty, If your friend is making a mistake, you tell them, its up to them to listen to you. But when they are embarking on a direction in their life where they need support, your duty as a friend is to do just that.

I recently had an occurrence where I needed friends and out of the few good friends I have, I can honestly none of them was there for me. The friends you would not generally count on, where the ones who had me. That goes to show about the quote "love your enemies just incase your friends turn out to be bastards" lol a bit harsh but true. The ones I did not in a million year expect where there for me, and you know what made it great. I did not have to ask them.

I originally thought there was no point having such friends in my life, but then I realised that, I was in no position to hold a grudge on people. Just like me they are human beings. We all make mistakes. In life you rarely get the chance to see peoples true colours and when you do see them, make sure you keep a good picture of it at the back of your mind, so that you don't make the mistake of expecting something from them you will never get, like genuine support.

Diary Of A Shallow Black Girl

what does friendship mean to you?


  1. mmmmm Food for thought.

    Friendship means:
    - Being non-judgmental and supportive;
    - Being there in time of need;
    - Celebrating each others' success without jealousy

    Not an easy thing to find, but a good friend is neccessary in this wicked world. My hubby is my best friend

  2. As u`ve stated in your post that friendship is having people help you, lend you a hand when you are in need. A shoulder to cry on when you are sad.They encourage you when the loose confident.

    1 thing i have learnt is people will always disappoint you,friend or no friend coz they are humans. They might be there at a point and not at another,the best friendship or love u can ever experience is that of our MAKER. :)

  3. thanks for your comment!
    I know,but it's hard to decide what you need and what you don't
    that's why I pack almost everything everytime
    and I almost never wear them!

  4. I agree with DIDI; well said!
    I absolutley love the definition of love by Louis de Bernière. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Friends are people that have your best interest at heart and are truly there for you in times of trials. Distance and times might separate you for a while but they will always be in your heart.

    First time here and following.
    Please, check out my blog at

  6. thanks for your comment honey*

  7. To me, friendship is with someone who you can always rely on to be there for you. Maybe not 100% of the time, but you should feel comfortable in knowing that they will have always at least tried their best to be there/help you. I'm learning now that I'm older what true friendship is.

    PS - I have you an award! Check it out here:

    Also, did you get my e-mail?

  8. U couldnt have said it any better,its exactly what i needed to hear at this time in my life where am goin thru a rough road in my relationships in general.Am glad i follow your nice!

  9. A friend, to me, means someone who has my best interest at heart and is there in ups and down.
    Though, distance might separate us, but I will always be in the person's mind.

    First time here and following. Please, check out my blog at

  10. I enjoyed reading this post. A good friend to me is someone who is there to support you no matter what, someone who knows how to cheer you up and someone you feel you can share anything with.

  11. This is an absolutely wonderful post. I enjoyed every info here. I think love is best found when one can love oneself. after all, we cant give what we don't have. Really lovely post

  12. Good friends...and by good i mean the type you can call up at 3am-to talk to, are hard to come by.

    Interesting read...

  13. Lovely post dear, congrats!
    I think we shouldn't know exactly the meaning of love, we should wait until we find it! This is the best way to know the meaning of LOVE!
    xoxo Kiki

  14. Greate post and this id absollutly right ;)

  15. This is such a beautiful post.
    Friendship is really important for me, such a big part of my life.

  16. Love is a little complicated and we cannot just describe it by giving it a broad description. I'm still trying to do my research on it but at the same time I've come to realize that there are so many misconceptions about the word 'love' esp because people keep interchanging the word with several others.
    To define love, psychologists gave a few subdivisions which makes it a lot easier: passionate love, companionate, compassionate. while we also have the look-alikes - infatuation, lust and so on.
    When people say "they are in love", usually, it's just lust. When you realize that you can disengage your attraction to the person and still feel a great sense of affection, now that's love. That's why your siblings can love you even if you woke up with a big bump on your face.
    Sorry I'm sure I'm beginning to bore you with my "love talk". Like I said, that topic really interests me a lot :)
    First time here and I love your blog.

  17. Awww, such a sweet post. I love the last photo. Too darling. I am so happy I just found your blog, it's amazing!!

    I am following you now!!! :) Hope you'll come visit mine!

    moonstruck exposé

    x. juliana

  18. Well said. I hope you are enjoying your holidays.

  19. Amszing post!!
    love the pics

  20. Friendship is so important, it's honesty and love. I will never understand those that say they can make it in this world without a friend. I honestly don't think we can.

    This was a great post, definitely following your blog! :)

  21. Hi! I like this post so much, really great pics!
    If you want come and visit my blog, and if you like, follow me!

  22. I love this post. I love the last paragraph about taking a pic of people's true color. That is so truth. Nice post

  23. This post was a really good read!

  24. Good friendship........

  25. great post there is always a connection between friendship and love and the definition of love your gave is lovely!

  26. Love this post.

    Stop by my blog some time at!

  27. i LOVE your blog so i follow you

  28. lovely pictures and very nice blog*.*
    check mine if you want to

  29. Nice post! :)

  30. This is really good !
    i like how you write about your honesty in what you think about and not what you feel others should read.

    Stop by my blog some time :)

  31. Great post. Really true. To me though, love (of any kind) is action. It's not emotions, or feelings and such, it's what you do.

    Adiya (formally the corner shop- had to change my url X_x)

  32. Last year I decided to clean out my friendship closet. As time passes on you find out who your true friends are. I now have great people in my life whom are my true friends. True friends are people who support you through it all no matter what, friends are people who don't judge you, friends are people that truly love you. Friends are extended family that you get to choose.
    I like your blog, I'm following.

    Always T,

  33. This is beautiful and true! I love the quote by Louis de Bernière.

    Please check out my new blog and follow if you like! Either way I'm a follower :)
    Cam :)


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