Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Open Diary: Relationship Status, Single? or Captured?

I was watching an episode of 'Single Ladies', over a drink the girls were discussing the complications of being single. They said 'Being single is equally as complicated as being in a relationship'.  I must admit, I sorta agree with them. 

People are always saying relationships are so complicated, they are yes! I am not saying they are not... but I believe they are only as complicated as you want them to be. Being a relationship take two people, who decide to merge some or most aspects of their life together, and that is it. The fact that it only takes two people makes it complicated as in, there might occasionally be conflict of interest, however if you and your partner are fully exclusive, you only answer to each other, i.e. "baby what you got planned for today" answer: 'might go here and there and here then back to you'. during the day a few texts, maybe some phone conversations the next day comes. If you want to be with the person genuinely and you really like them is fairly easy and simple. Unless you are hiding something, i.e. you are a partner to another relationship *get it?

Being single on the other hand, can be seen as uncomplicated since you are a free person, but I sorta disagree, it like you have a relationship with the whole world... I personally don't think anyone is ever really single like really single... there is the odd bloke/girl that you talk to every now and then. 
But the main issue is that when you are single, you owe everyone you *talk* to something. They might not utter it, but its there, for instance girls... when a guy take you out , and you enjoyed the date and to you everything went well, don't you sorta expects him to call you? (lets be honest) 
But he might not see the need to call you at least, he is not your boyfriend, so he doesn't need to call you. Whereas you actually liked him but since you lot are not together, you probably put on a front and don't call him, see unnecessary stress.

 Another thing no-one actually believes you when you say you have are not single, I'm I making sense? Like you are single and  a guy approach you, you are uninterested so you say: 'I'm in a relationship'. I don't know if I'm a terrible liar, but it doesn't seems to work? they still follow you and try to get your number and sometimes the only route to escape is to get rude, which  might land a very angry and embarrassed guy, (I don't want to even know what they will be capable of)

Another complication, when a guy takes you out, some of them actually expects something because they spent some little money to take you out. I see it this way, you saw me you liked what you saw, wanted to get to know the person behind the face/body you saw, I thought you was a decent bloke, I allowed you to take me out, you are actually quite self centred and I don't wanna go out with you no-more, so I won't pick up your calls *evil laugh*

Being single is a liberating status, but do we ever have total freedom? At least when you are in a relationship is voluntary and all complication are accepted, usually expected. Single on the hand is just too much stress, I might be talking total rubbish, but let me know what you lot think. 

Seriously, what is your take on this issue?

Diary Of A Shallow Black Girl


  1. Long post lol! But i liked it, and you are totally right! It makes sense.
    Like I have friends who like the aspect of being "free and single" but don't go on any dates & some don't even take it that far because- they don't notice it, but still act like they're attached to their ex (like you said, they tell a guy their in a relationship, or feel guilty going out)OR no one is as good as that last person.
    I have another friend who talks to too many guys, she likes one, or one guy likes her too much, now shes confused.
    All these girls are not really free. And they have tied themselves down to the past or are tied down to stress.
    I much rather be in a relationship, its my common ground, yeah there's stress in relationships, like you mentioned, but that's totally expected, and that person will be there for me at the end.
    Unlike when i was single, i was still looking for a person to be that "someone" there for me at the end, meaning i was never really single.
    I hope i made sense! =]

    btw decided to follow =]

  2. OMDz i totally love this comment lol..
    I never looked at it from the view of tying yourself down because of the past.
    Like you know relationships that were never really "over" which means you are no longer single especially if you keep in contact with that ex (been there) and I have also personally experience having too many guys around and even though you are not with neither, you feel the need to stay loyal to all of them. x

  3. Hehehe, I loove this post :)
    Know what? When I'm in a relationship, sometimes, I wanna be single again, when I am single, I want to be in a relationship...Does that make any sense ? :)

  4. cute pic at the end :)
    I dnt think being single is that complicated lol, sure u have those stalkerish guys that jst wont take NO for an answer but i jst ignore them completely, dnt pick their calls until they get tired of trying.
    As long as i havent found the guy i'm head over heels crazy about, i'm gonna remain single. Its much better than settling for less and regretting it everytime you both have to kiss lol.

  5. Love this post. I am a new follower as well. I was in a relationship for 10 years with a no good ass ________ was single for 3 years and now in a great relationship. Being single was fun.....AT FIRST. But then you realize hey I'm SICK of first dates, SICK of trying to remember who this guy is that I supposedly met and gave my number to, the single DATING life is STRESSFUL. Now if u just want to party and travel which I did a lot of it's great but dating and trying to find a Mr RIGHT in a sea of wrong is NO EASY TASK especially when you've been done wrong and have a maximum security gate over your heart. I'm glad it's over and the one found ME.....and I would say single stress is worse....relationship stress is moreso giving up the everything is about me attitude and compromising and discussing kids( he wants HOW many??>>!!!) and marriage ( forEVA EVA???!) lolllllll.

  6. @Cat ... sometimes i feel the same way

    @Kitkat.. I like your view but sometimes i just want a companion lol.. yeah i have lots of friends but i yearn for certain attention sometimes lol (and nope i aint talking about sex- this kitty belongs to the man who will put a ring on it)

    @Style4curve lol welcome on board...first dates are the worst but they can be so fun aswell.. I am happy for you that you've found mr right.. AMEN to the marriage lol. x

  7. I love how its titled 'single or captured' lol
    I totally get what you mean by being single. Though I dont think I would like being in a relationship all that much anyway.. but that is where I get attacked for being scared of commitment lol.
    and omg, saying your in a relationship to a guy who wont leave you alone just doesnt work! They dont seem to get it, either that or they dont want to believe it! lol
    Great post x

  8. Blessings....
    with relationships whatever it is whether it be single, or not it is what you make it, complicated or simple is up to the individual(s).


  9. that was one long post .. but honestly loved every word of it , i was laughing , nodding, most of the time.. so true.. a complete dilemma, irrespective of whether you are single or not.. pheww.. tough life :P ..:D

  10. This is perfect, you have a great Blog, and you write really well!
    Please .... Visit my blog!!!



  11. It's true, a lot of guys that are tryna get your number (just random guys that walk past u ) don't take a no. Even though im not lying, im in a relationship, so frustrating because yeah you have to get rude and they get angry & you duno what some ppl are like.

  12. great post! followed.

  13. true..what u said about expectations, but i dont agree with ur take on the single status being complicated. i feel the things is ur free to do wot eva, and to be with whoeva u want, therefore u have so many choices and that may smtyms lead to lil bit of confusion.. but complication? naa


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